Tidying up | my thoughts on Maria Kondo way |

I am guilty of binge watching, but this time I’m glad I do because… I watched “tidying up” on Netflix ! Yes the same one, the one with Maria Kondo in it. Yup, the one where you get rid of stuff that doesn’t “spark a joy” for you.

After watching the full season in two days ( with three kids), I started tidying up. I know she said start with wardrobes but I wasn’t gonna touch that unless I knew it would work. I decided I’ll start with “kimono” wrong way around I know.. but it seemed much simpler.

I started with emptying out all the cabinets (not) … ok I did not have the courage to do that.. can you imagine? Taking everything out and putting it back again, instead I opened each cabinet and just looked what “doesn’t spark joy” and what I can store elsewhere better….. I followed the same concept except made a lot lesser mess.

I rearranged everything so that I can see what spices, tins, and other edibles I have. Once looking at eveything that way I was able to make shopping list in my head in a very convenient way, afterwards I sorted out my cutlery . I had way more spoons in the drawer than needed, they still sparked joy ( ok they didn’t, I just needed extra incase guests come over or something ) so I kept them in a zip lock bag and found a spot for them in the pantry. At the end I sorted my fridge and freezer, everything got arranged in a way so you can see what’s in it and how much is left! Now the kids are not allowed to help themselves in the kitchen unless careful ! It’s been 4 days and everything was still organised ! That’s the longest it’s gone.

Basically the idea behind the whole Maria kondo method can be explained in two parts;

    Everything needs a home/ designated place, once used put it back where it belongs.
    De clutter everything . Don’t keep things thinking “I might need it” if you haven’t used anything in 6 months it’s a very low chance that you might not need to use it at all!

I feel very proud of the kitchen, eveything looks so very well organised. Today after dropping the kids off at school I was walking back towards the car and thinking omg! My kitchen is so organised!!

That being said, I also have to be honest! Maria kondo method is effective but extremely messy! The feeling you get once everything is cleared out is incredible but the anxiety I felt when I took stuff out was overwhelming for me, and mind you I didn’t actually empty everything out .

I would recommend you to do it only if your kids are at school, and you don’t have anything else to do that day!

If I’m being honest I’m a little scared to start with wardrobes but also excited to see the finish result! Also I was thinking once all the clothes are out I don’t think any would spark any sort of joy to me.. but will see. I haven’t purchased any boxes and I’m not planning to either.. so I am going to add some Huma Ali way to the Maria kondo way…. will update you with the results and will also share it with pics !

In the meantime if you feel inspired and decide on de-cluttering do share ? And if you already have how do you keep up with it?

What it’s REALLY like being a mum?

I’ve been a mum for 7 years and 7 days now! Wow….

I have three boys aged 7 years(+7days), 5 years (+11months and 10 days) and a 1 year old (+1 month and 28days) !

Someone asked me recently what is it like to be a mum? Are you ever ready to become a mother?? Obviously I didn’t want to put her off being a mum so I told her all the good things about being a mum! Now when I was thinking, I thought should I have shared the difficulties that a woman faces after she becomes a mother?

I realised not a lot of woman talk about it, especially the older woman who have gone past this phase… and I kept thinking why? Why do woman not share their true feelings? The true struggle they face? How they cope with everyday?

I don’t mean in any way that being a mum is bad! No! I love being a mum.. I really do.. all those kisses and strangling cuddles I get!!! I love every bit of it! My oldest two boys recently made me lunch ( toasted sugar sandwich with icelolly!) I had tears in my eyes (happy tears) that lunch was probably the best lunch of my life!!! They did everything themselves even the thinking of making a toasted sugar sandwich.. it was so very sweet. But I’m not gonna lie, it took every ounce of strength to get past these 7 years!

When you become a mum you CANNOT be lazy. Nope! You can simplify things but not be lazy! Like if you don’t want to cook you still have to feed the kids, you can’t be lazy about it..it’s not like you can’t… you just CAN NOT do it because you want them to be happy, so you might order takeaway or do a frozen option but you will get off your butt and do something! Whether it be cooking healthy meal from scratch or a frozen meal or take out!

  • The house will never be clean the way it used to be before kids! (If yours is then well done and please tell me how?) I spend all day cleaning, organising and when my kids come back from school it feels like the house was never cleaned before… like really!! They try and get one towel out and the rest would be on the floor…! They will try and put them back but obviously it won’t be organised anymore…
  • You won’t be able to go to the toilet without an audience! And if you manage to… they would be sitting outside waiting for you… like right outside.. constantly calling your name..! The instant you go toilet they will remember that they need the magazine that they bought last month to do an activity from it…! True story! Only time you can go in peace is if dads taken em out or they are asleep..!
  • You can’t have hot drinks around them!! Even if you have warmed up that same coffee 5 times already…! Unless they are asleep.. or out.. I have switched to caffeinated energy drinks now… cos that doesn’t need to be warm or cold to drink.. I just drink it to get some caffeine in me and keep me awake…!
  • You will never get enough sleep! Always be sleep deprived! Might work if you have only one I think. With me one of em would definitely get disturbed. I have gotten so used to of not sleeping for more then 5 hrs that if I do on a odd day, I would wake up with a stiff back…! No seriously, no joking! I got my calcium checked but everything came back fine, so I am assuming my back isn’t used to of laying down for more then 5hrs in a go..!

But all that said there is nothing in this world that would want me to change any bit of my life! I love my boys! When I see them laugh, it lights up my world! One hug from them takes away all the tiredness and makes everything feel so worth it…

Now to the question why doesn’t anyone share the true struggles of being a mum? It’s because you forget all that… yup just like labour pains! If you remembered your labour and delivery exactly the way it happened all the time, most of the people would only have one baby! No kidding! The moment you hold your baby for the first time all the pain just goes away! Just like that when the kids grow up all you remember is the fun things you did with them. Like the water fights, walks, strange food tasting, movie times! All the fun times….

I love being a mum! It’s difficult and tough but so worth it…! What is it that you find the toughest bit of being a mum? And what will you miss the most when your little babies are all grown up?

New year resolution for my kids | Millennial mum edition

So it’s 2019! Wow… I was born in 1989, and I remember when it was 2000 really well! Was such a big deal.. it was the millennium!

People were excited thinking now it’s a completely new “Zamana” (means Era). Those people weren’t wrong so much has changed, it was Nokia back then now there are so many smart phones. Flat screens were the new rage back then. Touchscreens were only gadgets that people were predicting in movies and cartoons , just like flying cars!

Back in 2000s entertainment for kids was either playing outside or game consoles,we used to swap game cassettes with friends. There was psp, but again not everyone had it back then.

There was no WiFi! I don’t think I can survive without WiFi anymore! Had to use phone line to connect to internet or use a server provider that would be super slow!

Life is more digital than real now! Everything is online. Facebook, Twitter, youtube, Netflix, and so many more apps, you don’t need to leave the house anymore? Can order food online, grocery shopping can be done online, clothes and what not. You have access to everything on the tip of your finger!

when I would ask my parents a question and they didn’t know the answer to it, they would help me find the answer, be it from a book or a person. Now when my kids ask me something I google it and tell them ; straight up. Sometimes I wonder if they are missing out on something? The excitement and sense of achievement that came with figuring out a problem on your own I guess.  They wouldn’t understand what it was like to share one phone , landline! They wouldn’t understand what it felt like to wait for your favourite show to come up so you can watch it, on time cos you can’t  stream it later. The excitement to see friends after school break so you can tell them everything that happened, because you couldn’t text them everyday !

I love technology! But I feel like it’s taking over our lives! We are so obsessed with taking pics to put up on social media that we forget to actually be in the moment and enjoy it. Everything seems so fake now!

I am not a “new year new me” person! But this year I am determined to not let this technology take over me, and my real life! I am going to make changes for my kids.

  • I will put my phone away when I’m home with my family.
  • I will enjoy the moment rather then trying to take a picture and post it on social media.
  • I will go out more and watch the birds, or the stars rather then staring at phone screen/ TV.
  • I will meet up with friends and family more  and speak to them in person more, rather then just relying on social media.
  • I will interact with my neighbours more.

I want to teach them to live life! They already know how to use all the tech stuff, because it’s their generation! I am the millennial, I have seen life with and without screens , my children are going to see life through my eyes. Thence makes it more important to move the screens away from my eyes! And enjoy the real world!

What are you going to change for your kids this year? Please do share your thoughts?

Mamma Blues!

You get a chance to talk about and discuss how to help your children with anger and tantrums and feelings…. but we Mums forget to check all that with ourselves!!

With the weather becoming all gloomy, wet and depressing, mood swings kick in too.

How to help with this sad mood?

Here are a few things I do to help me;

1- Get dressed:

When I’m feeling low I try to wake up a bit earlier then usual and get dressed, I put some makeup on, do my hair and look nice before the kids wake up ! When I look nice I feel good!

2- Do something relaxing

It can be anything, depending on what you feel like doing. Cleaning helps me feel relaxed, even for an hour after seeing the house clean I feel better. Warm drink helps, sometimes when i have time to myself I would get me a warm drink and sit by the fire while watching Netflix! I also write when I’m feeling sad, or upset!

-3) Talk

Talk, talk and talk… talk to your friends, your family, your partners, your kids, basically anyone you can get a hold of. I talk too much to help me feel better, I don’t feel like talking when I’m upset but I know once I talk about my feelings I will feel better. I mostly talk to my husband and sometimes to my kids. It always works!

-4) Exercise

I’m not an exercise person! I do love walking, on a straight path. When I’m feeling low I can walk more then a mile without getting tired! I know it’s probably nothing for some people but like I said not an exercising person! But physical activity helps to release “happy hormones” in your brain. You can go to the gym, for a walk. Sometimes I just dance around the living room with the music on loud! My kids love it!

If your mood stays the same for a very long period, I suggest checking with your GP!

Never ignore signs of depression, especially when you have young children depending on you. Please get help if you need it, there is no shame in telling someone you feel too low! It’s always good to talk to someone you trust!

Look after yourself! Be a happy mummy! And don’t worry about little things like cleaning, cooking and stuff. These things won’t matter just look after yourself first so you can look after your family! Xx

What do you do to help with your mamma blues??!!

Positive parenting with the help of parents!

Before I write anything I would like to take the time out and say to my children’s grandma (mummy), yes you were right!! And I’m sorry!

So positive parenting is a thing that I tried so hard to follow on advice of mummy but never stayed consistent with it. Mummy always said ignore the naughty stuff/ negative bits and encourage the positive stuff/ good attributes. I thought that would spoil the kids, they need to know what have they done wrong!

Today after attending a workshop and listening a professional talking about positive parenting, I was surprised!! He basically said ignore the negatives, praise the positives. If the child is being naughty tell them to stop or punish them ( not very strictly) and forget about the mistake child made and carry on with good behaviour .//ws-eu.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=GB&source=ac&ref=tf_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=humali-21&marketplace=amazon&region=GB&placement=0143109227&asins=0143109227&linkId=6cf5e44ba92031da9fb673de868d3c5a&show_border=false&link_opens_in_new_window=false&price_color=333333&title_color=0066c0&bg_color=ffffff

Something mummy been saying all along and she also said along side it “ask google and when google agrees with me then follow it, you not gonna believe my words”.

Try and think it from a child’s perspective. So the kid spends a long day at school, following all the rules, sometimes has a good day and sometimes a bad day, gets back home, their safe place. Now the child just want to relax, maybe unwind and sometimes after a rough day( that you obviously know nothing of) acts out! And you start telling him how badly he is behaving! He is a naughty boy! What about all the hard work he did all day? What about all the little good things he did? And even if he didn’t do anything just find something to praise the child. Don’t you work better, harder when praised for your efforts?

I felt a bit ashamed and really guilty too. I’ve recently noticed that we don’t like being told how to parent our children, even if it’s our parents talking to us. We forget that they brought us up and we are doing fine in our lives. We are kind, compassionate, helpful and successful. We make mistakes, and learn from them. We do hurt our loved ones and makeup! We are respectful! Aren’t these all the qualities we want to see in our children? Then why do we hesitate to follow our own parents advice? Who actually are experienced in bringing up children!

I have never been a parent before, it’s all very new to me. Every time when I think I’ve got a hang of it something new comes up that baffles me! We should try and take some in from our parent’s experiences and perhaps not get very defensive when our parents are guiding us on how to parent . I guess our parents are still sort of parenting us on how to parent!!

If it made any sense to you then please call them up and ask them for advice! If you ask yourself might not get criticised. Just because you are a parent doesn’t mean you don’t need a parent anymore!

Happy parenting !

A road trip with three boys

So, I went on a long road trip to see my cousin. She lives 3 hrs away from me. We did the road trip with my 3 kids, and that was an interesting experience .

For all those who don’t know me, I have 3 boys aged 7,6 and 1. We only own one iPad because we are adamant for our kids to learn to share and get along( that’s not successful just yet).

We planned on leaving straight after breakfast , I prepared most of the stuff the night before. We woke up at 6:55 am and had breakfast, were done by 7.15ish. Then we started getting ready.

My boys didn’t want to wear what I had set out for them, instead they wanted to wear what was in the wash and were upset because those clothes weren’t ready. After a little persuading , some shouting and whining kids finally got ready and started looking for shoes. They looked for shoes everywhere except for in “the shoe basket” where we keep the shoes .

Got out of the house around 10 but finally we were out of the house. The youngest one was supposed to have a nap in the car and so he did. The oldest two were gonna sit at the back and watch movies on Netflix that we had downloaded for them on the iPad. Sounds good, doesn’t it?

Only when they both decided on watching something completely different . I suggested why don’t you play one of the game on iPad and that was disastrous too!!!

At the end we just gave them the snack bag that was supposed to last us both ways on the trip. So while one is playing on iPad the other one is eating junk!! Only to make them hyper for when they get off the car…

Now I dread to let them out of the car and into my cousin’s home… oh LORD please help us! Ameen…

Small steps , big help!

I didn’t think when I started writing that I will ever talk about my personal parenting struggles, but today I experienced something brilliant and very helpful that I felt like it’s my job to share with other parents out there, who are struggling like me.

I attended a workshop organised by “small steps”, it’s a fairly new team/group of people. The first time I heard about it, it was from my health visitor and through a referral we got to attend the workshop. They also do a drop in sessions. I would try and put up the links at the end.

Today I learnt its ok for children to feel sad, unhappy and angry. They are humans just like us and obviously have the same feelings we feel. It’s easier being an adult because when I feel a certain feeling I know exactly what feeling that is, but for children it’s a bit difficult to understand what they are feeling. All they know is that they are not feeling happy! That’s all… so if it’s not happy then it must be a bad feeling and thence it’s ok for them to be upset.

We have to, and must give children space to feel their feelings and we need to help them to project that feeling in a positive way.

My main issue was anger! My children knew anger but had difficult time processing it, today at the workshop there was a lady there, she gave me a brilliant idea. A stomping mat!!! This was just brilliant, this way they would be able to take all the anger and frustration out on that mat and once they get off the mat they can articulate what they felt and why. It might also be useful for me, when I feel frustrated and angry.

I also got a chance to speak to other parents who were going through similar situations, and it was nice knowing I am not alone in that struggle. We talked to each other , I picked a few things from them and they probably learnt some new parenting tricks from me. We said kind words to each other and told them how well we are doing as a parent. You don’t get to hear that often, that you are doing everything just right!

If ever in doubt just speak to someone, parenting is difficult and no one knows the perfect formula for it, but it’s easier when you discuss your struggles. Happy parenting!

Small Steps Service: Nottinghamshire | Nottinghamshire Help Yourself https://shar.es/aaaWgW

A guide to KS1 SATs for parents

If your child will be sitting KS1 SATs this year, this is the basic you need to know about it;

What is SATs?

SATs (standard assessment tests) are a series of assessments in English and Maths that’s take place at the end of year 2 . These don’t affect the second SATs that your child will do at the end of year 6.

SATs at the end of year 2 are just to give you a picture of your child,s progress. They are not meant to pass/fail. They are just an evaluation and not statuary after 2023. Each school will independently decide weather they want their students to sit in ks1 SATs or not.

What is included in English SATs?

English is divided into two sections.

Reading.

Reading is further divided into two sets of paper.

Paper 1- A selection of texts totalling of 400-700 words with questions.

Paper 2- A booklet of selection of passages of around 1000 words. Children will be provided with a separate sheet of paper to answer the questions in context to the booklet.

Each paper should take around 30 mins but teachers don’t limit the student on time. They can take as long as they like. Each test gets progressively more difficult towards the end and the teacher have an option to stop the test at any point, if find suitable for particular child.

Grammar/ spelling .

Grammar is also divided into two group of tests.

Paper A- A spelling test, involving 20 spelling words and takes approximately 15 mins.

Paper B- A grammar, punctuation and vocabulary test. Also takes 20 mins with a break in the middle if required . This paper is optional and school can decide whether to do SPAG test or not.

What is included in Maths SATs?

Maths in divided into two parts as well.

Paper1- Arithmetic , worth 25 marks and takes around 15 mins.

Paper 2- Problem solving and reasoning, worth 35 marks and takes around 30 mins with break if required. Question type involves multiple choice.

How are SATs marked?

Even though the exams are set externally , they are marked by the teachers within your chid’s school.

Students are given a scaled score. A score of 100 indicates that the child is working at an expected standard, score below 100 suggests that the child is below the expected standard and a score above 100 indicates that child is excelling. The highest score is 115 and the lowest is 85.

Your child’s ks1 SATs result would not be given to you unless you ask for them.

When are the SATs scheduled for 2019?

Ks1 SATs will take place in may 2019.

Unlike KS2 SATs , KS1 SATs don’t have to follow a nationally set timetable in a specific week. Schools are free to decide when to take the exams. Exams are usually taken under a low key , your child may not even be aware of taking them!

Hope this helped. All the best.

Getting siblings involved in birthday celebrations.

cooks-confectioner-children-s-sweets.jpg

So, after all the sleepless nights, colic issues, rflux and crying, your baby is finally turning one . A big milestone in any parents life. A pat on your back for doing it so well and now it’s time to celebrate your little munchkins first birthday.

Its different first time around , it wasn’t just you whose life changed with the new arrival. What about your older kids?

When I had my third boy my older boys were about to turn 5 & 6. With the new arrival their life changed too. They had to share their Mamma and Abu with this new little baby who is crying most of the time. Trips to the Cinema, park, play centre became less frequent. Snuggling time before bedtime got shorter. So in a way I think my kids deserve to celebrate this milestone with us too and a pat on the back for being super helpful and understanding for the whole year!

Question is how to get them involved. If that’s something you are looking for too then look no further I have put together a little list of things you can do that would help older siblings get involved in the birthday bash and feel proud and happy on the day rather than getting jealous of all the attention their baby sibling is getting.

Lets begin, shall we?

1) Choosing the birthday theme

involve the older kids to choose the birthday theme. It took us a few days to decide on the theme because my older boys like very differnt thing so I suggest to start discussing theme in advance. Or you could give the kids some options to choose from.

2) invitation

we have always done a family party for our children’s 1st birthday, this time around I let the kids decide how to do the invitations. I did inform the people beforehand about the birthday but let the kids make their own formal invites and post them directly.

3) party games

I let the kids plan the party entertainment. They have come up with some clever ideas and something they could be in charge of too. (Surprisingly very inexpensive ideas too).

  • pass the parcel– Asda does a very good “pass the parcel kit” for only £1. Comes with wrapping paper and 8 small party favour/surprises.
  • pin the tail on the donkey – Asda had a kit with a poster, blind fold, pins, and 8 tails for only £1
  • pop the balloons with your bum- I got a pack of balloon and we are planning on putting a “dare note” in each balloon and whoever pops it will have to do it.
  • Musical statues- this is a classic birthday game.
  • piñata- you could buy it but we made ours by ourselves and again got the kids involved in it. I will link the tutorial down below on how to do it.

4) party hats

we bought some plain party hats. And decided on decorating and making them special for each of the guest. We used some sharpies and named each hat with baby’s relation.

image

//ws-eu.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=GB&source=ac&ref=qf_sp_asin_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=humali-21&marketplace=amazon&region=GB&placement=B07F77TF7F&asins=B07F77TF7F&linkId=384f891c2f01938ad5ce0366f1edb5f4&show_border=false&link_opens_in_new_window=false&price_color=333333&title_color=0066c0&bg_color=ffffff
These were the few things I thought might be helpful in making the older kids feel special and not jealous. They would actually feel happy and proud about all the contributions they did towards the party and would probably be more helpful during the event.

My party isn’t due till the weekend. Would definitely write down again if it was a success and share more thoughts and ideas to help you out.

All the best with your party planning!

Link to the piñata tutorial.

 

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑

Create your website at WordPress.com
Get started